Sunday, December 23, 2007

Merry Christmas

Okay, I know, I don't look very merry in the picture. This is what Mom and Dad do to us every year. Somewhere down the line they got this absurd idea that rabbits like to be dressed up. I wasn't the only one. Binky got dressed up, too. And so did Ella and Scooter. I even think I saw Boo wearing a toque as well. "Get this hat off me, Mom!" "But Fluffy, you look quite jaunty!" "I have no idea what that word means but I have a pretty good idea I want none of it!" "Well, just hold still and smile for the camera..."

That's Mom holding me very tightly, just mere seconds before I escaped her grasp and flew around the room like a bucking bronco trying to get that hideous outfit off of me. The scarf flew off easily enough but the hat was a little tougher. Oh boy, once I got it off my head, I grabbed it in my teeth and shook it like a rag doll! Then I dug at it over and over again. I tossed it in the air a few times, too! "Take that, you stupid hat! And stay away from my head!"

And why does this happen? Because it's Christmas. Mommy says Santa Paws is coming in two more sleeps - I'm so excited! I've tried really hard to be a good bunny all year and I think I have this year in the bag! I've been super-sweet to my girlfriend Binks and well, I let Mom and Dad dress me up in that rediculous get-up so that has to count for something. Although I think the whole paint-tray episode set me back a bit - but that wasn't entirely my fault (see earlier post). And my fur has grown back in very nicely, thanks for asking.
Our stockings were hanging by the fireplace but Mom took them down after I chewed the "Y" off of Binky's stocking. Sorry, the gold glitter glue was just so tempting! Mom says Santa Paws will fill up our stockings with treats and leave us presents, "But only if you are good little bunnies, so eat your hay and your veggies and don't chew the walls." Okay, I think I can manage that.
So what does a bunny ask for for Christmas anyway? Here is my letter to Santa Paws...
"Dear Santa Paws,
My name is Fluffy Bunny and I live with my girlfriend Binky, my Mom and Dad and two other rabbits and a hamster. I have been a very good boy this year. For Christmas, I would like some treats, maybe some of those apple thingies Mom makes. And I think I might like a new toy. That's about all. I'm pretty easy to please. And bring some stuff for Binks as well. She has tried to be good and other than the fight she got into with Scooter, she has been an angel. She's my angel anyway - I love her! Thank you for listening and I hope you got our new address because we just moved. Check with Canada Post, they have it. Travel safe Santa Paws!
Love Fluffy Bunny"
See? I didn't ask for much, that's the key. I hope I get what I ask for, but even if I don't, that's okay. So long as I have Binks and my family, I will be the happiest bunny ever. Merry Christmas everyone, and I hope Santa Paws is good to you, too!

Monday, December 10, 2007

Not All Bunnies Get Along

Well, we moved! We made it to our new home about two weeks ago and Binky and I love it! But it certainly didn't start off that way.

I know Mom had big plans to bond us all together in the new place, but right off the bat, things were tense. Mom and Dad set us up in the family room downstairs with a wall of creative cubes separating Binky and me from Scooter and Ella. Ella was not too impressed.

Ella and Binky have a bit of a shady past with one another, so as soon as Ella saw Binky, she was upset. So much so that she was nipping at Scooter. Mom and Dad weren't too happy so they thought for the night they would put Ella in an xpen so Scooter would be much for that.

Binky seemed fine, but I could tell she had her one eye on those two on the other side of the room. I'm not sure how it all started, but it was well after Mom and Dad tucked us in for the night. Scooter was trying to say "hello" through the barrier but Binky decided to make it clear she wasn't interested in his friendliness. Someone managed to move the barrier enough for Scooter to hop on over to our side of the room, and that's when Binky - well - got very mad.

Scooter, although not my favourite bunny (that would be Binky!), just likes to hang out with other bunnies, whether they like him or not, so he didn't take Binky's rebuffs too seriously. He hopped right up to her and tried humping her which she did NOT like! She took a nice big bite out of his nose. He started to bleed. But he didn't understand what was wrong, so he went up to her again - and she bit him again.

It wasn't long before the fur was flying everywhere. She tried to bite and grab at Scooter's ears and he just got worked up. Binky chased and attacked him and he tried to run and defend himself but he really was no match for Binks. You see, Binky is ready to fight at any time whereas Scooter is just used to loving so he wasn't prepared and didn't really know what to do. Even though I know why Binky does things like this, she can still be very scary when she is doing it. Mental note to self - don't get on Binky's bad side....

It was over pretty fast, with Scooter running and hiding to lick his wounds. Poor Ella could offer him no help from her xpen.

Mom came down at about 3am to check on us. She saw the barrier moved, she saw the fur, and she saw the blood. She screamed for Dad and he came down too. Poor Mom cried. She held Scooter and cried. We were all checked over for bites and other injuries but it was Scooter who got it all.

Mom and Dad packed up Scooter and Ella and took them away. I think they live upstairs now. Binky was happy. She even did a victory lap around the room to celebrate.

"Yay, Fluffy! They're gone! The room is all ours!"
"Binks, I know you don't like other bunnies, but why did you attack Scooter so badly?"
"Well, I don't like other bunnies running up to me and hopping all over me. I gave him the stink eye and grunted at him, but he didn't seem to understand. I love you, Fluffy, and I don't want to share you, or myself, with any other bunny."
"Awww Binks, that's sweet. I love you, too!"

We snuggled for the rest of the night.

I feel really bad for Mom and Dad. I know parts of them feel guilty. And I sort of feel sorry for Scooter, too. But I think, wherever he and Ella are, they are much happier. At least I hope so.


Thursday, November 22, 2007

Attack of the Cardboard Boxes

Okay so the cardboard boxes haven't exactly attacked us or anything, but they are creeping in on everything. They are everywhere, in the living room, in the dining room, lining the walls and stacked to the ceiling. And they are creeping closer and closer to the middle of the room.

Mom says this is all because we are moving. Other than the boxes, the place is pretty empty. Mom and Dad have been waiting for this move to happen for a while and, as it stands now, Saturday is the big day.

Mom and Dad say us bunnies are going to have our own room. We'll be sharing it with Ella and Scooter who right now live in the bedroom, but we will be separated so we don't fight. I remember I used to hang out with Ella before, so I don't mind her. Scooter is a bit excitable and we don't exactly get along. And Ella and Binky hate each other! We'll have to see what ends up happening. I'm fine with it - if they stay on their side of the room, I'll stay on mine!

Mom says she wants to try bonding us all together. She says all of this neutral territory will be the perfect time to try. "You don't all have to snuggle and love each other to bits, just so long as you can all co-exist without trying to eat each other - that's all Mommy asks." We'll see. I told her "Mom, it's going to depend on Binky and Ella. They are the ones that are the most stubborn." "I know, Fluffy. We'll try it and see what happens. If you all don't want to be friends, that's okay, we will keep you separated in pairs just like always. But everyone will have more room if everyone can get along."

Mom says I will have patio doors to look out of. I like looking outside. I have a plank on a windowsill in our place right now. I like sitting up there and watching everything going on outside. It's always nice and cool by the window, too. Mom says the patio doors are bigger than the window, and it's on the ground level so I never know, a squirrel or even a rabbit might come in the yard to visit me. Oh, and the yard - Mom says we will finally have grass under our feet! I'm not too partial to being outside but Binky loves it. Personally, the birds scare me. So many strange noises and sounds, but so long as Binks is by my side, I'm fine. I love Binky. She's my girlfriend.

I'm excited to be moving. It means these cardboard boxes will be going away. Hey, maybe I will get an empty one to play with! "Of course you will, Fluffy!" YAY! Bonuses all around!


Saturday, November 3, 2007

When Exercise Balls and Bunnies Collide

I never knew I had a little brother, but according to Mom, I do. He's a hamster. His name is Boo. I know what you're thinking - how can a bunny have a hamster as a brother? Well, technically I can't but I think Mom just calls him that because she wants me to treat him like one. He sure acts like a little brother though - he's annoying!

Every evening when he gets up, Mom puts him in his exercise ball so he can run around. At first, Binks and I didn't know what to make of him - he was just this plastic ball that rolled around and into things and into us. I think we realized there was a living creature inside the ball at around the same time Boo realized there were living creatures outside of the ball.

At first he would roll into us. Sometimes we'd push him away and off he'd go. Then, if we were in our pen, he'd roll up to the bars and push his little nose right up against the vents of the ball to sniff us. If I happened to hop away, he'd roll the ball and follow me and squish his nose through the vents again.

Sometimes when I'm hanging out minding my own business, he will roll the ball over to me and park it right up against me. This can get annoying. I try pushing him away, but he rolls right back up to me. One time he even tried to pull my fur through the vents of his ball like I was in need of a plucking. THAT was bothersome!

One evening Mom let him out of the ball so we could sniff each other for real. He's very twitchy and darts around a lot. He ran around me, under me and even tried to climb ontop of me! MOM! Put him back in his ball!

"He likes you Fluffy. Be nice to him. Think of him as your little brother." I don't recall ever wanting a little brother! "He looks up to you, Fluffy. You are a very lucky rabbit. You have Binky to keep you company, another rabbit just like you. Isn't it nice having her around?" Well, of course it is - I love Binky. "Well, Boo doesn't have anyone, he's all alone. Of course he has Mommy and Daddy but he much prefers the company of another furry creature. It gives him comfort to be around you. He told me so. He loves hanging out with "the giant hamster" as he calls you."

Okay, Mom is laying on the guilt - and it's working. I guess Boo isn't that bad. He is kinda cute. And he is fun. I guess he has grown on me. Perhaps I should be nicer to him, seeing as he looks up to me and all. That's a lot of responsibility - and it feels kinda cool.

Do you remember that Warner Bros. cartoon with the big, grey bulldog and the tiny black kitten? The one where the kitten would climb up on his back and pluck and scratch the fur on his back and the dog would wince and go "Ooooooo, ouch, ouch, owwww, ooooo, ouch...!" and then finally the kitten would curl up into a little ball on his back and go to sleep? Boo and I are kinda like that. I'm the bulldog and he's the kitten. Only I'm a rabbit and he's a hamster. And we are not cartoons. You know what I mean.


Sunday, October 14, 2007

Whoever invented the banana should be President

It's my most favourite time of day. It happens every morning. Mom gets up, lounges for a bit, eventually makes her way to the kitchen and returns with a banana. IT'S BANANA TIME!

I'll watch her. Sometimes she'll be on the couch and I'll give her a nudge. If that doesn't work, I'll hop up next to her and give her my sad, pleading eyes, helicopter ears slightly askew. Then she'll remember. She'll go to the kitchen, hold it up for me while she peels it so I can see it and get all excited. If I'm not already on the couch, I'll race there as soon as I can, often beating her there, and I'll dance around on the cushions while she sings "It's banana time! Fluffy! Who wants banana?!"

Well, who do you think wants banana? Oh, I don't know, perhaps this rabbit doing donuts around your feet followed by backflips on the couch? I WANT BANANA!

Sometimes I'll even buzz with excitement. Once I even fell off the couch I was so excited. And as soon as mom plops herself down, I am on her lap devouring that wonderful, yummy, sweet banana!

And mom let's me eat as much as I want, although she makes me promise not to tell the Bunny Food Police. Bananas are really sweet and I really shouldn't eat as much as I do, but I've never gotten sick from it and I know when I'm full and, well, Mom just can't deny me banana, especially when it makes me THIS happy! She says banana time is her favourite time of day too, because she gets to spend it with me and she loves me. And I tell her I love banana. I love banana so much that I think whoever invented the banana should be President.

Mom says she'll let Mother Nature know....

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Enough Already!

Okay, this has GOT to stop! Seriously, someone remind this person that some bunnies do NOT like being smothered with icky kisses!

So all of us animals, that would include me and Binks, Ella and Scooter (the two bunnies that live in the "other room") and Boo the Hamster have been "vacationing" for the last three weeks. We went to see our friend Stephanie while Mom and Dad were showing the condo in an attempt to sell it. Well, they sold it and last night we all got to come home. But Mom, sheesh, has been all over me! Cuddling me, kissing me, giving me cheek rubs and talking all goo-goo ga-ga and just totally overdoing it! UGH! She keeps picking me up and burying her face in my fur. When I get away, I give her a nice thump but she just finds it amusing.

We had fun at Steph's house. She has her own bunnies so it was nice to chat with them. Every Sunday Mom and Dad would come over and totally maul us. Kisses and hugs and whatnot. We tried to tell them we were just fine here at Steph's house but both of them were just very sad. I could tell that they really missed us.

Okay, I guess it won't hurt anyone to admit it. I missed them, too. Yes, Mom is a little over-affectionate right now, but deep down, I missed her. I missed her smell, her voice, her pets, our banana time together - I guess I just never realized it until now. Vacationing is fun, but the best part is returning home, to the place you know, the smells you know, the routine you know, and to the people who love you most.

Dorothy was right - there's no place like home.


Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Chin Up!

Mom says that as far as bunnies go, I'm about the friendliest one there is. It's true that I like to sniff people. It's true I like to be on top of any situation that is going on around me. It's true that I am loveable and people can't get enough of me - what can I say? But I don't think Mom realizes what is really going on. I like stuff. And I like making stuff "mine".

People squeal with joy when I run up to them and chin them. They think it means I like them, and I guess in a way it does, but more importantly, it means they "belong" to me. I like things to belong to me - it's how I keep my world in order.

I don't care if you think it's yours. If I chin it, it becomes mine. Even if you take it away again, that's okay, because I'll still see it as mine, and when you bring it back, I'll chin it again, making it mine. See how it works?

I chinned LOTS of stuff on Saturday! Cleaning Lady came over and I chinned everything! Vacuum....mine. Mop....mine. Pail....mine. Duster....mine, too! Then Cable Guy showed up. Tool belt.....mine. Cables.....mine. Wrench.....mine. I even chinned his shoes....mine!

It's like a game I play. How much stuff can I make mine? Let's see, I'll take that coffee table, the chair legs, the cabinet, the newspaper rack, the floor lamp. All mine, thank you. And even if Binky, my girlfriend, comes over and makes stuff hers, I just make it mine right back. She's not as obsessive about it as I am. Oh, and I chin her, too. She's mine. I love her.

So think what you will. "Oh he's so cute! He just rubbed me with his chin! He likes me!" Yeah, I like making you mine. Consider yourself added to the collection.


Wednesday, August 29, 2007

A Bunny Misadventure

Well, I sure picked a good time to start a blog.

I would like to preface this story by saying that it was not my fault - well, okay, it sorta was, but it was mostly Mom's fault and she has admitted it, so there. Last night I was hopping around, minding my own business when I came across what looked to me to be a litter bin. I don't know why it was in the middle of the hallway. I sniffed it an it smelled really strong. But hey, I'm a bunny and I'm curious so I thought, what the heck, why not climb in?

Well, I knew I was in trouble the minute I hopped into it. There was all this sticky stuff on the bottom and it felt really gross. That was when Mom started shrieking. "Fluffy!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! Not the paint tray!!!" Paint tray? Is that what this is?

So, she's screaming bloody murder and running towards me at top speed so, of course, I'm not stickin' around, especially if I know I've done something wrong. I leap out and my feet are slipping and sliding all over the place! Freakin' new laminate flooring (I'm still not used to it)! She's chasing me, Dad's chasing me, I'm running, or trying to, I'm freaked out, I get disoriented and then, BOOM! I'm caught. They swooped me off the floor.

Next thing I know, I'm being suspended over the kitchen sink and they are scrubbing my feet. Uh, excuse me......I HATE WATER!!!!!!!! Geez! Dad's holding me tight so there's NO WAY I'm wiggling my way out of this one and Mom is wiping me all over. Finally they stop.

Now I'm in my carrier, my feet are still wet and we are driving somewhere. We get to a friend's house and she is giving me the once over, looking at my feet and in between my toes. Then she pulls out the clippers! And she starts clipping my fur off! I'm like, Hey Lady, the name is Fluffy and I like staying that way! She buzzed all four of my paws and all around my toes. I squirmed as much as I could but Dad had the Bunny-Not-Going- Anywhere Grip on me constantly. I grunted and glared at him and at Clipper Lady, but I was forced to resign to my fate. Okay, granted Clipper Lady did get rid of all that gunky stuff that I got into but I mean, I would've gotten rid of it myself! And she did give me treats so I guess she's not that bad.

I get back home, they open the carrier and as soon as I got on that new laminate floor, I tested it out by giving Mom and Dad a good loud THUMP! Then I gave them a few more and ran into the tv cabinet to sulk and feel sorry for myself and my newly sheared feet. Binky, my girlfriend, came and found me. "What's the matter Fluffy? Where did you go?" and I told her the whole sordid story. She gave me some reassuring licks and cuddled up next to me. That made me feel better.

Hey, this is a pretty long post. It should be worth at least TWO raisins. AND a pinch of banana.

Frig, my toes are cold.


Tuesday, August 28, 2007

A Bunny Blog?

Mom says I should write a bunny blog. I have no idea why. She thinks I'm funny, and cute, and entertaining, and I am, but why write about it? "Because it will be like a diary of sorts. And one day, you will look back at it and be thankful you did." Okay, but will you give me a raisin for it? "Sure. I'll give you a raisin for every blog you write." Just one? "Just one." How about some banana? "You can have either a raisin or a pinch of banana." Not both? "No, not both."

Okay so it sounds like a good deal to me. I like my sugar. Mom says it's not good for me so I only get little bits at a time. I'll take it any way I can get it.

My name is Fluffy. I am a brown and white lop-eared rabbit. I am 3 and a half years old.

So Mom, does this count as blog #1? "Yes Fluffy, it does." Good! Gimme my raisin!!!!!!