Monday, June 29, 2009

The Wrath of McFluffersons

Nanners. Nana. Banana. It's all the same thing - a sweet wondrous fruit that is perfect in every way, shape and form. And it makes my bum twitch. Every morning, Mom comes downstairs and gives me my morning nana, an inch-sized piece that I devour instantly as my rump spasms with pure and utter joy. So what happens when I don't get my nanners? Let's not even go there. Okay, let's.....

It happened last weekend. We ran out of bananas. Now normally this isn't an issue - Mom goes and buys more - end of story. But on this particular weekend day, Mom had to work so she asked Dad to get some. I am sure you all know where this is going. Yup. He forgot.

"You forgot?!" Mom asked Dad the next morning when she went to get my nana, "How could you forget?!"

"I just did - sorry, I'll get some tomorrow..."

"Tomorrow? What about today? Who is going to tell Fluffy that he gets no nanners today? Well, it's not going to be me, that's for sure..."

So Dad came downstairs and I ran to the gate to greet him - after all, it was nana time - but he was empty-handed. "Where's my nana?" I asked. "Um, there's no nana today Fluffy..."

"Huh?" I shook my little head - certainly I wasn't hearing this right. Did Dad say there was no nana today? "Sorry McFluffersons, I forgot to go to the store yesterday. I will go today..." I looked at him in total shock and disgust. "You forgot? FORGOT?!!! How could you forget nanners?! How could you?!"

"Fluffy, I....I'm sorry....I just....."

"Sorry doesn't cut it, Mister! Do I look like a happy bunny?! DO I?!" I paused for dramatic effect, allowing my ice-cold disappointment to hang in the air. I then dropped my loppy ears to the ground in utter despair, hopped away a few steps, turned my little head and looked back at him with watery eyes, then went to sulk in my Maze Haven.....

Fast-forward to that evening....

Mom and Dad were sitting on the couch watching t.v. together. They were right next to the Stupid Blankets which were taunting me as usual - "Ha ha! Fluffy got no nanners today!" so I had to hop up there and chew them out a bit. While I was up there raging on them in my usual Big Tough Lop manner, I decided to let my frustrations out on Dad just a little bit, so I hopped up on his lap and started to dig at his jeans. "Fluffy, you silly boy!" he laughed as he lifted his glass of Stella out of the way. Silly, huh? I'll show you silly. Then I sat up on his chest and started digging at his shirt. "Little Man! You are quite rambunctious tonight, aren't you?" Little Man? Did he just call me a Little Man?


"Owwwwwww! Fluffy! That went right through my shirt!" Oh, really?

CHOMP! "Ahhhhhhh-ooooooooowwwwww! McFluffersons!" Daddy clutched at his chest right where I sunk my teeth into him. "Why are you biting Dada?" Why? Did you ask me why? Think hard my friend.... "Probably because you forgot to buy him his nanners..." Mom piped up.

And then, like the big, fat cherry atop a sundae or the exclamation point at the end of a very exasperated sentence, I took my nose, placed it at the bottom of dad's beer glass and gave it a good shove - tipping it's contents all over Daddy.

Mom howled with laughter. Dad stood up, beer dripping down the front of his Daddy-O's polyester poker shirt. "McFlufferson's!!!!!!!!"

I hopped off the couch, gave him some foot flicks along with a big thump and scampered off to the willow tent where I very dramatically and satisfyingly flopped next to Miss Binks. "Fluffy, that was funny! You spilled that beer all over Daddy! Hee hee!"

I got my nanners the very next morning, on time, as usual. They haven't missed a day since....


Friday, June 19, 2009

Farewell Sweet Cheeks

It's been a sad week here at home. My little sister Lucky the hamster passed away.

Mom and Dad got Lucky when she was a wee baby. She was one of many hamsters that were found abandoned at the Dixie Outlet Mall last October. Rabbit Rescue took them in and Mom and Dad picked Lucky to add to our family. She quickly grew into a sweet, lovable and funny friend who loved running in her ball and stuffing her cheeks to immense proportions. Mom even stayed up late one night, worried that she had stuffed her cheeks too much and would not be able to get it all out. But little Lucky told her that "stuffing our pouches is what we do!" and she was perfectly fine. She loved filling her cheeks like it was the end of the world or she was going on some sort of incredible adventure and didn't know when she would be fed again. It could be weeks! (Of course not!) But she was ready, just in case. That's why Mommy started calling her Sweet Cheeks.

A week ago today, Lucky had a very wet bum and Mom worried she might have wet tail so she took her to the vet. At first, a UTI was suspected and meds were given. But on Saturday morning Lucky was in very bad shape, haunched over like a little buffalo, hardly able to walk and in obvious pain. Mom and Dad rushed her back to the vet where she underwent xrays and various tests. The vet determined that she was suffering from a spinal injury, probably cage-related. Perhaps Lucky had climbed up the bars of her cage (as hammies often do) and fell, landing on the side of a bowl or something else. Mom and Dad had no idea - they never saw anything happen, but of course, with hamsters being nocturnal, it certainly could have happened without them knowing it.

Lucky spent the weekend at the vet. Xrays showed no actual break in the spine, but she was still waddling around all funny. With the right meds, including pain management, she did slowly improve and was able to come back home on Sunday. For the next few days, bit by bit with continued meds, she got better. She was still a little haunched, but she was running around, stuffing her cheeks again and eating like a champion. But she still was not her normal, happy hammie self...

On Wednesday evening, after mom came home from work and was about to prepare dinner, Daddy found Lucky curled up in her hammie house. She had passed away earlier in the day. She was curled up, seemingly asleep, yet very much gone.....

Mom and Dad have been consumed with sadness. They tried to do everything they could to make her better, but poor little Lucky was just too injured to fully recover. Binks and I, as well as Ella and Scooter upstairs, have been working overtime giving them all the snorgles they need to help them feel better. We let them squeeze us extra tight and cry in our fur and kiss us and tell us how much they love us.

I sure am going to miss Lucky. She was extra good at grooming me through the air vents of her ball (see picture above) and loved to stuff my fur in her cheeks and take it into her hammie house to use as a pillow. She was only 8 months old. Mom and Dad aren't sure if another hammie is in the cards for them. We only lost my little brother Boo 9 months ago (actually, nine months to the day, today)and now to lose Lucky - that's two in less than a year. It really hurts. "But Mom, the important thing is that you and Dad gave Lucky a wonderful life! You gave her a wonderful home when she was abandoned, you gave her tons of love and she was such a happy little hamster! She had the best life ever with you and Dad..." Mom squeezed me extra tight and covered my head with kisses. "Thank you Fluffy. Thank you so much my Little Man. Mommy loves all of you bunnies more than anything in the world...."

"We know, Mom, you tell us every single day. And by the way, I'm not a Little Man - I'm a BIG TOUGH LOP!"

"Ha! Sorry McFluffersons, you are right! You're Mommy's Big Tough Lop!" she laughed through her tears.

My job for the night was done.

Farewell Sweet Lucky. Our hearts are all the more bigger for having known you....

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Squirrel Feeder Sabotage!

"What on Earth happened to the squirrel feeder?!" Mom asked one morning as she looked out the patio doors. "It was a huge raccoon Mom!" I said, "A big, fat, hungry raccoon!"

Mom had just filled the squirrel feeder the night before with a fresh helping of peanuts and in the morning, all that was left was the empty shell of the feeder and the clear plastic front and shards of cedar on the ground. Further inspection revealed plenty of claw marks burrowed deep into all sides of the soft wood housing and you could see how easily the wood was stripped to remove the plastic window. Teeth marks could be seen along the top and the feeder itself was hanging loose from the fence - a sure sign that whatever hit it weighed more than Nutters and Butters combined.

Nutters tapped at the patio door first thing in the morning. "Hey Fluffy! What's up with the feeder?! It's been ransacked!" I took a peek out myself and could clearly see that damage had been done. Butters chimed in as well, "Yeah! there are no nuts in sight!"

So of course when Mom came down I quickly alerted her to what had happened. "Geez! That feeder was practically brand new! And I just dumped a half-bag of peanuts in there! Now they're all gone! There is no way I can fix that. Thank goodness I bought another squirrel feeder at Wal-Mart." YAY! Mom had a back-up. Apparently, now that it's warmer outside, Wal-Mart has squirrel feeders in stock again. Like squirrels don't eat in the winter or something.....?

So up went the new stronger and sturdier squirrel feeder. Mom has decided to fill it only in the mornings instead of at night so no big raccoons amble over for a midnight buffet. Not that Mom has anything against raccoons, but the feeder is strictly for squirrels. Plus, raccoon poop is very dangerous to bunnies so we don't want any of THAT in our yard!

So, since my "Big Escape" (see previous post) I have been trying really hard to be extra good. Mom is doing a bit better, not squeezing me as tight when she snorgles me, but of course dashing any dreams I might have of going outside. Sometimes all I have to do is look out the window and she says "Don't even think about it McFluffersons!"

Last weekend Mom and Dad went away for a few days and Fez's Mom bunnysat us. We call her Auntie Amy. Unfortunately, she reads my blog and was up-to-date on my recent shenanigans so she kept a good eye on me too. "Auntie Amy, can I go outside to play?" I would ask. "Ha! I don't think so Mr. Fluffy..." She was nice though - she gave me lots of head rubs. I like Auntie Amy - I hope she can bunnysit us again soon.

"Binks, do you think Mom will ever forgive me for taking off like that?" I asked her one day as we snuggled. "Oh Fluffy, you don't need to be forgiven. Mommy needs to forgive herself. She is still very upset for allowing it to happen. In the end, she was the one who learned the biggest lesson of all. You were just being a bunny."

"I never thought of it that way." I said. "Perhaps she will forgive herself soon and let us out in the backyard in our xpen. I like the feel of the grass under my feet..."

"Me too," said Binky, "and I like digging in the ground and sniffing the air! But not as much as I like snuggling with you, Fluffy..." she said as she stuck her nose in my ear. And I couldn't agree with her more.