Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Take This Toy And Stuff It
Okay, seriously. After my last post about how much nanners mean to me, did Mom really think this new toy was a good idea? Of all things to buy, she buys me this - a stuffed banana. Not a real banana, not even a toy that tastes or smells like a banana, just a stupid, yellow, stuffed banana.
"Look Fluffy! It's a stuffed banana! For my Big Tough Lop! Who likes his nanners?!"
"Um, it's not even real Mom..."
"I know, but it's a toy! See? It looks just like a real banana - with a peel and everything!"
"Can I eat it?"
"No, silly boy, it's a toy!"
*sigh* Clearly she is enjoying this silly thing more than I am. Stupid banana! I want the real thing! It is good for tossing around though. I picked it up and threw it around. If it's going to be staying, it needs to know who runs things around here. "See? Isn't it fun?!" Yeah Mom, as fun as a barrel of monkeys.
And I swear what happened the next day was not in retaliation for this ridiculous new toy. I remember sniffing Mom's sandals - I guess it could've happened innocently enough - perhaps it was a blind moment of vengeance. Mom was on her way out the door to work when she slipped her bare foot into one of her sandals - and felt something slippery and cool. She looked down to see a big brown smear up the side of her foot. She took her foot out of the shoe and sniffed it. "UGH! McFluffersons! Who left this cecal pellet IN MY SHOE?"
Okay, so I am the only one who plays with the shoes. Honestly, it must have just fallen out of my bum (ahem...) and landed there....
"AARRGGGGGG!!!!! Stinky! All over my yellow sandals!!!!" Hmmmmmm, your yellow sandals? The ones that look like bananas? What a coincidence.....
She scrubbed her sandal clean in the laundry tub and washed her foot free of the little surprise, all the while being all dramatic and gasping for air like it was the end of the world. Sheesh Mom, try eating one of those like bunnies do......
I paid my stuffed banana a visit and tossed it in the air a few times. I wonder if she got the message?