Sunday, July 26, 2009

Big Fat Cat

You have to look closely - right there, where the base of the fence meets the back of the garden - he's like a big, fluffy Siamese with a dark face - it's the Big Fat Cat.

He has taken to lurking in our yard much to the disapproval of Nutters, Butters, the neighbourhood birds and of course Mom. It seems the bird and squirrel feeders that were placed outside to help fill the bellies of our feathered and furry friends has also attracted the predator of those very same animals. He hides behind bushes, under lawn chairs, behind fences and is for the most part, very stealth and determined. He will sit for an eternity to scope out any possible victim he can find, studying their every move and camouflaging himself expertly amidst the environment and not disturbing the sense of security that generally fills the back yard.

But he is still a Big Fat Cat and with that comes the disadvantage of not being very fast. Oh he tries, that's for sure, but it seems the moment he moves, everyone is on to him - the birds fill the air with tweets of panic and Nutters and Butters dart up the nearest tree and screech their protest down at him. So far BFC has yet to land himself any dinner.

And of course there is Mom who, when she looks out the window, opens it up and hollers down at him, "You Big Fat Cat! Get out of this yard! That's right! I'm talking to you! Hisssssssss! Git! Git right now!!!!!" Of course, this causes all the squirrels and birds to scatter and BFC just turns his head and looks up at her with his yellow/green eyes, "Thanks Lady. How about you shut your trap so I can have me a little dinner?" he asks her. "You will have no such thing in my yard! You just mosey on outta here, you! Yes, I'm talking to YOU!" Now, it's not that Mom hates cats or anything, she likes all animals, but she certainly did not put those feeders out there to induce carnage of any sort. Besides, it's clear that BFC is getting plenty of food elsewhere.

Big Fat Cat has stared me down through the glass patio doors before but I don't pay him any mind. He's the same cat that tried to stalk Binky out in the yard last summer too. He can't get to Binky or me so for the most part I just stare back at him - then I turn and give him a good old fashioned foot flick as I hop away.



Carmen C. said...

Fluffy~ Don't you let that fat cat bother you! Never understood why cats don't have to be kept on thier own property like dogs do!Our neighbors are " cat collectors" and they use my front wagon wheel planter as their night time litter box....DISGUSTING! You just keep on flicking him the hoppers little friend:)

FrecklesandDeb said...

That's the ticket, Fluffy! The foot flick is the perfect expression of disapproval. That's showing the Big Fat Cat a thing or two!

The Bunns said...

Cats are weird ..