Well, I sure picked a good time to start a blog.
I would like to preface this story by saying that it was not my fault - well, okay, it sorta was, but it was mostly Mom's fault and she has admitted it, so there. Last night I was hopping around, minding my own business when I came across what looked to me to be a litter bin. I don't know why it was in the middle of the hallway. I sniffed it an it smelled really strong. But hey, I'm a bunny and I'm curious so I thought, what the heck, why not climb in?
Well, I knew I was in trouble the minute I hopped into it. There was all this sticky stuff on the bottom and it felt really gross. That was when Mom started shrieking. "Fluffy!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!! Not the paint tray!!!" Paint tray? Is that what this is?
So, she's screaming bloody murder and running towards me at top speed so, of course, I'm not stickin' around, especially if I know I've done something wrong. I leap out and my feet are slipping and sliding all over the place! Freakin' new laminate flooring (I'm still not used to it)! She's chasing me, Dad's chasing me, I'm running, or trying to, I'm freaked out, I get disoriented and then, BOOM! I'm caught. They swooped me off the floor.
Next thing I know, I'm being suspended over the kitchen sink and they are scrubbing my feet. Uh, excuse me......I HATE WATER!!!!!!!! Geez! Dad's holding me tight so there's NO WAY I'm wiggling my way out of this one and Mom is wiping me all over. Finally they stop.
Now I'm in my carrier, my feet are still wet and we are driving somewhere. We get to a friend's house and she is giving me the once over, looking at my feet and in between my toes. Then she pulls out the clippers! And she starts clipping my fur off! I'm like, Hey Lady, the name is Fluffy and I like staying that way! She buzzed all four of my paws and all around my toes. I squirmed as much as I could but Dad had the Bunny-Not-Going- Anywhere Grip on me constantly. I grunted and glared at him and at Clipper Lady, but I was forced to resign to my fate. Okay, granted Clipper Lady did get rid of all that gunky stuff that I got into but I mean, I would've gotten rid of it myself! And she did give me treats so I guess she's not that bad.
I get back home, they open the carrier and as soon as I got on that new laminate floor, I tested it out by giving Mom and Dad a good loud THUMP! Then I gave them a few more and ran into the tv cabinet to sulk and feel sorry for myself and my newly sheared feet. Binky, my girlfriend, came and found me. "What's the matter Fluffy? Where did you go?" and I told her the whole sordid story. She gave me some reassuring licks and cuddled up next to me. That made me feel better.
Hey, this is a pretty long post. It should be worth at least TWO raisins. AND a pinch of banana.
Frig, my toes are cold.
Fluffy
